Monday, March 29, 2004

I just had a little soup for dinner, then headed out to the Rose and Crown to do my six minutes. And have two Boddy's on tap, of course. The best thing about this evening was not the overall show (mostly because I didn't see most of it), but was hanging out outside with Erikka Innes, Vlad, Tina Allen, and my long lost love, Karoly. We had a great time just being silly and saying F**k you, you f**kin' f**k! (which we learned in New York City!) and Vlad's "man with the plan, pope with the dope," while I persistently tried to pick a fight with the curb. Oh, and we were mostly smoking clove cigarettes. The key to that is to lick your lips a lot. It tastes great!

Thursday, March 25, 2004

No dinner for me tonight. I was planning to eat at the gig at Beale St., but unbeknownst to us, the gig wasn't happening. Unbeknownst that is until we got there. So I stopped by the studio and stole a bunch of photos to start working on our photo gallery Web pages for the San Francisco Comedy College. Then home to kitty and Law and Order.

Wednesday March 24, 2004

As much as I love driving up to Sacramento and performing there, some nights I wish I could just stay home with my kitty and Law and Order. This was one of those nights. But I had a seafood salad sandwich from a gas station (BIG mistake, do not try this at home!), and was on my merry way. When I arrived, I found out I wasn't scheduled, but since I'd come so far, I was given time to perform. Good thing too, or the audience count would have dropped by 10 percent if I left. I had guac and chips there, but only coffee, I was driving home that night. No late night partying with Sean. He had a date with Bob (Bob's not a gay, but he does play one in gay porn movies).

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Against my previous statements and my better judgement, I went up at the Improv. The best thing about the experience was the chicken tenders. And I guess I had a bass. It's just so demoralizing to perform on that huge stage in that huge theater with only 10 people in the audience. I much prefer the more intimate clubs if there's going to hardly anyone there. Michael Slack did a great job of emcee-ing (is that a word?), but we should never try to write a clever intro on the fly. "She's got brains, she's got beauty, she's got Brawn-y paper towels, the very absorbent Beth Schumann!

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Ooops. Forgot to have dinner. How does this keep happening, yet I'm getting bigger instead of smaller? Anyway, had a special guest set at Rooster T. Feathers Comedy Club, and got to perform in the same show with Dwight Slade (hysterical, and great hair!), Dan Gabriel (also very funny, and half Pinoy -- Mabuhay my friend!) and Colin Moultin, the keeper of the cigarettes. Thanks so much to Jimi, Richie and Edo for showing up to support, and for Bill and Nick for accidentally showing up to support. Special thanks to Heather Woodhull for giving me the opportunity.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Does a Blarney Rubble count as dinner? It was the big South Bay graduation show for the SFCC at Rooster T. Feathers Comedy Club. A small, but partly poly-amorous crowd. I am not a bisexual, I just play one on the weekends. Thanks to Jimi for coming out to support . . . again. The best thing about my stalker is that she's always there for me. I had a tough choice to make: Wilma Flintstone, or Marge Simpson. I chose Wilma, but I'm not sure I made the right decision. Oh well, no point in second-guessing now!

Monday, March 15, 2004

Open mic night at the Rose & Crown. I was number 17 (out of 24?) and I had six minutes. I ate beef stew from a can (the yummy kind from Trader Joes) before heading out to PA. I guess the most memorable part of the evening for me was when Vlad decided he was going to make fun of another comedian. I think her name was Mimi or Mitzi or something. I had had a couple Boddy's, so I became a willing accomplice. Mimi (or whatever) was more cute than funny, but got to give her props for getting up on stage. She does not deserve props for her choice of outfit, however. She had on black spandex pants, and her midriff was showing. Not sure if it was supposed to, but it couldn't help itself. Vlad told me he was going to say, "Black is slimming, but not if it's spandex." I said, "That's mean, but if you're really going to say something, say, 'They say black is slimming, but spandex doesn't lie." It got both a huge laugh and a huge "ouch," but both reactions were worth it. Vlad and I bonded over that moment.

Sunday, March 14, 2004

Dinner? Who has time for dinner? Tina Allen and I were up at the crack of 7:00 am to drive to The City and have our headshots taken at the Lisa Keating studio. Everyone there was awesome. Tina was having a bad hair day (apparently a common occurence), and I was having a bad butt day (apparently a common occurence). But the shoot went great and we had fun. Then it was up to the Gaslighter for Sunday Comics. Thanks to Nora Lavelle for bringing most of the audience. Everyone else brought their stalker, except for Michael Slack (he's been told that his stalking style is feeble) and Michael Riley, who actually is a schizo who stalks himself. It was fun. The audience was small, but a good one. Speaking of small audiences, the 4 or 5 people that were paying attention at the Ugly Mug Cafe in Soquel later in the evening got to hear me say "Ay Papi" many many times. I have no idea how to spell "ay papi." Okay, so the subject was dinner, right? Unfortunately, that would have been the half a turkey and avocado sandwich I had about 2 pm (which was washed down with 2 beers, of course). No time for eating! Speedy Delivery! Speedy Delivery!

Friday, March 5, 2003

First Friday Showcase at Luna's. This time I drove alone. Great crowd! Standing room only! I had some sort of Mexican stuffed tortilla thing that was delicious and starts with a "c" but I can't remember what it was. And of course, Hefeweizen. Everyone had an awesome set, although we were worried at first that it would just be Tim and I. There was a minor celebrity in the audience. Well, a major celebrity to some, but I had no idea who he was. I'll only say his name is James, and if you can guess which James, I'll give you a prize. More partying after the show. I think we didn't get back to Sean's until about 5 am. Of course I slept there, at least for a little while, but I was definitely hurting on my way back to San Jose!

Wednesday, March 3, 2004

Dan Edward's first weekly showcase at the Blue Rock Shoot. They have a new owner (what's up with the revolving door ownership at this place?) and no liquor license yet. But the Chai is good there too! I had a mini 4-cheese pizza, but only 3 of the cheeses were on my side. Again, not a huge crowd, but a good crowd. Thanks to Ron and Rhonda for showing up to support. It was also nice to meet another bipolar person there in the audience. I forgot to ask him if he loves Law and Order. The manic cheerleader impression also went over pretty well.

More dinners . . .

Copyright 2003, 2004 Elizabeth A. Schumann. All rights reserved.